February Runner of the Month

February Runner of the Month | Michelle Ekrut

When did you start running? I started running some in college, mainly to avoid the freshman 15. I can't say that I enjoyed it. I was struggling with body image issues still after years of fighting anorexia, and I used running to "control" my weight and purge calories. I actually started running for enjoyment when I lived in DC in my early 20s. I ran 4 times a week from the Capitol to the Lincoln Memorial and back, a total of 4 miles, and really enjoyed my morning run. I was beginning to reach a healthier place body image wise, and be more confident in me as a person, and so running became an expression of fun.  I stopped running soon after I met my husband (he is not a runner) and didn't run for 7 years, although we loved to walk and hike. I started running again after my son was born 10 years ago, with the goal of running the Disney Princess Half Marathon a year after his birth. I loved the time to me and the time in my own head. Except for 8 weeks that I took off after that first half marathon due to a stress fracture, I have been running ever since

First race? My first race was the Hot Chocolate 5k in 2012. It was supposed to be a tune up for the Disney Princess Half Marathon, which I was running a few weeks later. I had been running regularly for about 9 months at that point. I think due to the fast build up after my son's birth, and the fact I was still nursing and losing a lot of sleep with a baby, my nutrition wasn't on point. I overtrained and ended up with a stress fracture during my last long run the week before the Hot Chocolate 5k. My ankle hurt, but I didn't know any better, so I continued to run on it and raced the Hot Chocolate 5k and the Disney Princess. After the races I finally got my ankle seen and ended in a boot for 6 weeks. It has so far been my only major injury that required extended time off!

Most recent race? I mainly run ultras now, so I don't race a lot. The last race I finished was the NYC Marathon in November of last year. I ran as a fundraising runner for JDRF in honor of my son. The most recent official race I ran was the Back 40 40 mile race. I missed the rather tight cut-offs at mile 27, but it was a great race and a great experience! I also ran the unofficial Team Dirt and Vert night run in January and finished 40 miles.

Favorite piece of gear? My Oiselle Flyout Bra. It is designed for trail runners, with very flat, low profile straps to fit under a pack without rubbing. It has great support but is not too bulky. And it has a phone pouch built into the back that holds my huge iPhone for when I don't have a pack. I have even been able to stash a 16 oz water bottle back there one time I forgot my hydration vest and wanted to run at Palo Duro Canyon! Seriously it's the best bra I have ever owned.

What shoes do you run in? Salomon Sense Ride for trail, as they have the perfect combination of drop, ground feel, upper fit, and cushioning for most trail situations the for me. And I run in the Salomon Sonic RA for road as they are nicely cushioned without being overly so, but still feel very natural through the gate cycle (unfortunately they discontinued them this year, so I am stockpiling!). I also use the Salomon SpeedCross for really sloppy muddy trails and do light speedwork on trail runs in the Sense Pro (which is a lower drop and lighter with awesome ground feel). I'm a Salomon girl! 

Favorite way to cross train? I enjoy walking and hiking outdoors, and the stair climber or doing incline work on the treadmill (higher incline with mainly hiking intervals) when inside. I strength train, but I can't say I really enjoy it, it's a necessary evil. I do like my at home yoga, and I really want to try tai chi. And if I need a good aerobic workout without impact I enjoy pool running. Trying to learn to like indoor cycling, but I'm not there yet. 

Best running memory? That is hard. I have several, for different reasons. At a road race it would be finishing the NYC Marathon carrying Nyc, the diabetes bear that I carried the entire run to give to my son. Plus the NYC Marathon is such an iconic race with such an amazing crowd, fun hills, and just an overall amazing experience. Being there with my family made it even better, and fundraising for JDRF made the race more meaningful than any that I had run before. My favorite trail race would be Coyote 50 M last spring. It is just a flat out gorgeous course, and I felt that my training really came together, and I was mentally in a very good place for that race. It was an expression of the joy of running, not running for a result. Plus my last lap timed out so that I ran through the field of wildflowers at the top of one of the climbs just as the sun was setting. It was so amazing! I also treasure the memory of running my own personal 100 at Erwin Park in 2018. So many people came out to support me and run the night hours with me. The community of trail running really shined that night. I couldn't have done it without the trail running village. It was such a special experience. But I think my favorite running memories are those when it's just me on a trail and I hit that flow and running is the most natural and easiest form of movement, when my breathing is easy and my body loose, when my feet dance over the rocks and roots with a mind of their own, and I feel like I am floating or flying. Running becomes an expression of my truest self as part of the natural world around me. Those are the moments I run for.

Bucket list race? I guess I kind of already mentioned this above. My favorite road race would be the NYC Marathon. The course was so iconic, I loved running the bridges and the hills, especially coming up 5th Ave and through Central Park near the end, and the crowd support was unmatched. My favorite trail race would probably be Toughest N Texas. I love that trail at Cameron Park in Waco, it is so beautiful and challenging with lots of hills and roots. A fun little low key, old school trail race with food waiting for you at the end.

Favorite race so far? I am not sure, ask me after any given race and I might say the distance I just ran. I appreciate each distance for their different challenges, from the 5k to the 100 miler. But if I really think about it, probably the 50k. Its long enough to wear me out and feel like I really did something, and I get to spend a good several hours out on the trail, but it doesn't take as much of a rigorous training block (honestly I've run a few with little to no dedicated training) and I can recover and get back to normal running quickly. But then, there is something elusive about the 100 mile. I don't feel that I have run to my potential at one yet. I think I will keep coming back to that distance until I feel that I have.

Do you have a favorite distance? I am not sure, ask me after any given race and I might say the distance I just ran. I appreciate each distance for their different challenges, from the 5k to the 100 miler. But if I really think about it, probably the 50k. Its long enough to wear me out and feel like I really did something, and I get to spend a good several hours out on the trail, but it doesn't take as much of a rigorous training block (honestly I've run a few with little to no dedicated training) and I can recover and get back to normal running quickly. But then, there is something elusive about the 100 mile. I don't feel that I have run to my potential at one yet. I think I will keep coming back to that distance until I feel that I have.

What is something that most people do not know about you? I feel I am pretty open about most of my life. I struggled with Anorexia as a teen and body image issues and disordered eating most of my twenties. I have really focused on learning to separate my self worth from these things and learn to eat intuitively and for joy in this last decade of my life. I have a young son with Type 1 Diabetes. He was diagnosed last year. That has brought a lot of changes and stress, but has also helped me to really solidify my own desire to trust the process, live in the moment, and trust our bodies to tell us what they need. But I guess I would say that most people don't know my husband and I only dated for 2 months before he proposed and we were married just a little over a year after we started dating (although I think Alecia has us beat on that!). We have both changed a lot in the past 16 years, but he is still my best friend and the person I feel I can truly be me around at all times, the good and the ugly. Oh, and I'm a bourbon snob. I'll take it neat or on the rocks, never mixed, and my favorite distillery is Buffalo Trace (any of their bourbons or ryes).

Favorite tune to rock out to while running? I like up tempo songs that keep my legs turning over. Ed Sheeran's Eraser is always the first song on my playlist. He is talking about alcohol and drugs being a pain eraser, but for me, it speaks about running. It gets me psyched up to run. And then I always smile and pick up the pace when "Shut Up and Drive" by Rihanna comes on. And anything by Pink. I love her. Oh and "High Hopes" by Panic! at the Disco always gets me running faster!

Best part about running? I think I used to say it was the time in my own head, time to be alone, and the ability to test my limits. But it's more than that now. Running is my preferred form of movement through time and space. It let's me explore and see and experience. And it has become so deeply a part of me that I know I will be running for the rest of my life, even when I can't run. Because the feeling of running is something I can channel when I need to calm myself down, or need to sort through emotions. It's hard to explain, but running is so integral to how I move through the world anymore, that I can no longer separate myself from it, even if I am not actually running. Running has taught me that you can't truly appreciate something until you no longer "need" it, but instead actively choose it. I used to need to run. I would go crazy if I didn't, and feel so incredibly guilty. But I don't anymore. I don't need to run. I choose to and I want to. And realizing that I would still be me without something, that I'd be ok, that I don't need it, but I want it so fiercely that I will find a way for it to be a part of me. I don't know, that has made all the difference in my running, and it has bled over to make all the difference in my life.

Who inspires you? My son inspires me every day. He has so many pokes and prods, devices and discomfort, has to eat things according to when insulin will be given, suffers through the physical effects of high and low blood sugars and just keeps going. He very rarely complains and has already learned to trust what his body is telling him more than many adults. He is so brave and strong. And he does so with a smile on his face. He is my hero.

What has been your biggest challenge so far? My son's Type 1 Diabetes diagnosis February 2019. Before then I would have said my anxiety, or my history of disordered eating and body image struggles was my greatest challenge. But his diagnosis has tested me in all of those areas and more. Having to count carbs for every meal for him feels so much like the hyper control I placed on my own food for so many years, but I have learned to count and not place a meaning on that value beyond dosing insulin. Type 1 is teaching me to let go, ride the day out, and not place positive or negative values on individual numbers or events. Type 1 is teaching me to not over-analyze, but to make the best decision you can and move on, placing no judgment on yourself for that decision other than to learn from it in the future. Type 1 is teaching me to trust my gut, not statistics or even always logic. Type 1 is testing everything I thought I knew and re-writing it. But at the same time, it is showing me how amazing my son is, bringing my husband and I closer, and making us so much stronger as a family. I fight ever day to avoid bitterness and anger at this disease. I fight every day to push away the anxieties I fear for his future. I wish every day that it was me and not my son that had to take this road. But while I can't say that Type 1 is here for a "reason", I can say that it is growing us in ways I couldn't have imagined, and through our choices in how to react it is reshaping us into a better version of ourselves.

Any words of advice? I read somewhere that each run starts perfect, and the decisions you make can keep it that way or not. You can't always control the stress of the day, the sleep the night before, what food you managed to cram down in your scattered lunch. You can't control the weather or the inexplicable way your legs feel like lead when they have no reason to. But you can control how you act. If that days perfect run leads to running your fastest time right out of the start, awesome! If keeping that run perfect means starting slow, and then finding your second gear halfway in, great! And if keeping that run perfect means intervals, or walking, or even stopping, that is amazing. Do what you need to keep that run perfect. Don't fight the run, or the hill, or the weather, work with it, and let the run unfold the way it needs to. You just might surprise yourself, and you might find you enjoy it more too!